"It's the New Kid..."

I have to say, I hate being the new kid. Today was my first day on the job and while everything went pretty okay and all, minus the small incident when I picked up the phone and started talking into it only having it still be ringing because I didn't press the Line 1 button and then when I did I forgot the name of the place I was working for...everthing was fine! ha, yes I'm a complete idiot! What I hate most is when you're new you don't know anything!!!! You're a fish out of water (off the subject: but that's one of my fears and the past couple of weeks I've been having a lot of peeing in the public eye dreams, I believe it has something to do with me feeling insecure when I looked it up on a dream interpretation site. I mention it because I also have reaccuring dreams about fish being out of water which also means being insecure...) Being at work and observing how my co-consultants handled situations made me feel inept and questioned myself if i could do this job. But I'm sure I can and I'm just being really insecure about my ablities. Learning comes with the job so I'm sure I'll know just as much as they do by the time I'm about 4 months in.

Unfortunately, I didn't really start the day off right. For some odd reason i couldn't fall asleep for the life of me on Thursday night. My body ached (esp. my neck) so much that it was bothering all night, tossing and turning to try to find a comfortable position. I've never had my body ache so bad that it's affecting my sleeping. So with two hours of sleep, 1 1/2 small white buns for breakfast and working an eight hour day without any lunch break becuase I wasn't sure how to bring up that I wanted my lunch and my stomach was starting to burn a hole in itself I kept my mouth shut. And it also seemed that my co-workers who were also working 8 hour shifts didn't take their breaks, I didn't want to take one if they didn't either...(i'm completely aware that it is to my advantage if I do). My manager kept giving me things to do that I didn't want to bring it up, until about 3:30pm while she was showing me how to log in my hours, she realized I didn't have lunch and said that I should have said something. hmpf. It's all good, but by 5pm I was spent! The walk home felt like the longest ever and I even had to eat my PB&J sandwich on the way home cause I couldn't wait. First day was long but it was good. I will not be working 8 hour shifts normally so I'm not too worried about it, and when I get a hang of it things will go more smoothly I'm sure.

Now with 2 1/2hrs of sleep and some food in me, I'm feeling better but it is a Friday night and I'm sitting at home like a loser...ho hum. Oh yes, happy Friday the 13th!