I Am a Stranger to Myself

Have you ever looked in the mirror and not recognize yourself? Ok maybe not...but there have been many times when I have looked back at my reflection and I no longer see myself but a strange face peering back at me. It's a weird feeling and no I'm not on drugs when this happens... I feel as if my soul and body are separate for a moment, a brief second the face staring back is foreign to me and my heart jumps. My body is not mine but a stranger's. It is as if my soul was put into a random body, my body only serves as a shelter for my soul, or my body is a shell if you will.

I then often picture god assigning souls to bodies and how he would decide which ones go to which bodies. I know that's not how it really works but I'm weird and I like to think of weird things. ha I wonder how I got stuck with this body and what it would be like to be in another's body. Does it even matter what body I end up in? I would be the same soul but just in a different body... I'm sure much of this sounds like I'm tripping on something...and perhaps I am, unbeknowed to me! I remember during Thanksgiving my sister telling me about how she was having a conversation with my mom and my mom was telling her that she had an opportunity back in the day to marry a different man than my father and move to California, and my sister asked why she didn't and my mom responded that then she wouldn't have had us! I responded that we would exist but just as different people, our souls would be the same, we'd just be different looking. My sister gave me a weird look and said that I had an interesting theory. I understand that we wouldn't have existed if my mother married someone else, but I think of it as we're all unassigned souls in the beginning, and it is not until we are given bodies that we become who we are.

Well, that's food for thought...I should go to bed now and stop thinking these crazy thoughts.