Ahhhh!!!

AHHHHH!!!! Today is just one of those days...you know, the day that NOTHING feels right. Everything is going wrong, and you just feel like you have no confidence whatsoever! You feel like everyone is just laughing at you and you wonder why they even bother. God! All I want to do is just scream my eyes out today. I have for a bit but stopped in fear that my neighbors might think I'm insane or being murdered. ARGH!!! I hate this day!

If I could get drunk, I would today...not even a couple of sodas will cheer me up.

Losing Touch

Kindergarten buddies.

I find it sad when your best friend in 2nd grade now no longer wants to be your friend after so many years. Let me give an example, I was best friends with this girl from 5th grade to 6th grade. We were inseparable, we did everything together, and we went over to each other's houses to play. We told each other all of our secrets and we understood each other. We had our inside jokes and we knew each other's crushes in class. But when I approached her recently to make an effort to catch up she sort of blew me off. But surprisingly another best friend I had when I was in kindergarden approached me and we caught up! I'm not saying that some alcoholic beverage didn't help her talk to me but it was nice to know that she remembered me and the times we used to hang out. I guess realistically thinking about it. Too much time has passed, you've both done a lot of growing and you are no longer the same person as you were before. You're both practically...strangers to one another. But perhaps it's the innocence in me that believes that there is some part of them that does remember what they were once like and the childhood memories we shared. And if we really wanted to we could be best friends again, just pick up where we left off in 2nd grade. But what most likely happens is that the other person is not interested and will not want to make an effort to get to know you again.

If they did not wrong you or you did not wrong them in any way, I don't see why there shouldn't be a reunion. However, if something did go down between you two than that would be totally understandable. I mean you guys used to be BFFs(BEST FRIENDS FOREVER), and now we are strangers. Maybe I'm naive to think you could see someone you haven't seen in 10 years and expect to sit down and catch up on the 10 years you missed out.

I'm the year of the pig and pig people like to keep lifelong friends. So it saddens me to see a friend I used to know so well pretend we no longer know each other anymore. As long as there are no wrong doings toward each other I don't understand why we couldn't be friends again. But if they don't want to be your friend again then maybe you shouldn't want to be their friend either. It's a sad realization but at some point you have to just accept it and move on.

Far Away

I would like to move far far away from here.